OT: Don't be like sports car owners

LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
Here's an off-topic rant:  Rinker owners, I'm glad you don't modify your boats the way sports car owners mod their cars.

The disgusting trend now is gigantic wheels, skinny tires and five degrees of negative camber, with the car lowered until the body almost touches the ground.  Glue on a hideous widebody kit and, of course, a huge rear wing.  Exaggerate everything until the car looks like a ridiculous Saturday morning cartoon.

And they'll spend $1200 changing an OEM corner lamp from ... orange to white.  What they *should* do is invest the $1200 in driver training at a race track.  Cosmetic mods make the car worse; track time makes the driver better.

Imagine if Rinker owners were like that.  We'd be seeing express cruisers with flame-orange paint, thru-hull exhaust, wings, and a special water pump to shoot out a rooster tail like a race boat.  Please, just, don't.  OK, I feel better now.
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Comments

  • elarson5757elarson5757 Member Posts: 232 ✭✭
    Man...I'm going to have to ship back my new plastic faux hood scoop now...
  • 212rowboat212rowboat Member Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Stickers make you faster.. good for 20hp each.. torque kills speed...  get rid of it!!! The best spoilers start life as 5/8" osb boards, and a little paint. Brakes aren't important.  They slow you down, you know. If they were important, boats would have them! 
  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    Thank you!  Man I gotta just stop visiting the car forums.
  • Michael TMichael T Member Posts: 7,227 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LaRea....great overview...we got gangstas here up north too. Every once in awhile we run over one with our Yukons...was that a bug? Yeah, maybe.....
  • Black_DiamondBlack_Diamond Member Posts: 5,439 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I raced, and beat one of those noisy rice burners off a light with my 7.4l Powerstroke F-350. Beat him too. That's 8,000# of truck. I laughed. 

    Past owner of a 2003 342FV
    PC BYC, Holland, MI
  • 212rowboat212rowboat Member Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭✭✭
    BD, I was tootling through town in my f250 when some clown in my rear view was zipping and weaving through traffic behind me.... I let him pass, and gave him a good look over... he was in a neon.. he was giving his girlfriend quite the **** chewing, shaking his finger in her face... she was balling... he had DRIVING GLOVES on... and a baseball cap with the bill flat and sticker still on it.... I'm sure you've seen the type... 

    at the last redlight leaving town I found myself beside him and his angry mosquito sounding four banger...  he was staring at me... I gave him a pffft, and winked at his girl... 

    he couldn't see my hand flip the switch to 4H, or twitch the tuner to full fueling, which raises my torque from a paltry 800# to 1178, and HP from 350 to 617 at the wheel... I could hear his little wee turbo spinning up and his wastegate popping off, but I left him way way behind in short order... just to let him catch me, wave at his girl and leave him again... 

    next redlight, intersecting state highways, still two lanes, he pulls up beside me cursing and revving- I cranked the radio and said HUH? WHA? CAN'T HEAR YOU- and winked at his girl agian... and smoked him again... 

    he tried to ride my tail when I let up, and I fed him a 2" ball on a 8" drop hitch... He didn't ride my tail anymore, but come along side me- he swerved slightly toward me, crossing the line, and I let go the wheel while pretending I was abruptly swerving toward him at the same time.. he then crossed the other line- I think I saw grass in the air behind him... I wouldn't let him near after that... 

    puling into the next town, I decided a coffee from McD's was in order, and mostly because i didn't want him to follow me somewhere i go regularly, and know where to find me later... he pulled across the back of my parking spot, which I expected, and came out of the drivers seat as if he was some sort of ninja... I marched toward him not wasting any time but said enroute this is gonna be AWESOME!!! 

    he say's, now totally unsure of himself when he realized my seat wasn't raised, and I'm not a little dude, to alter tactics and said "uh.. uh... uh... hey man, what are you running in that thing?"... I informed him whatever I wanted, and if he didn't mind but I didn't care if he did I was going to speak with his sister- because there is no way a fella with a girl that cute would be with a jerk like him... I put my hand up all hipster like "talk to the palm" I've seen the kids do, and said to her- "you can do so much better than mr. driving gloves there"... smiled and asked "anything else?"... I offered to back over his car if he didn't move, and commented the only reason I warned him is she would get squashed first, and, well, she is cute and all... 


    this happened over a year ago... maybe even two, now that i think about it... I don't behave this way as a matter of course, and would scorn anyone, even if only silently, that i saw do something even like it- but, alas, I was bored, and the conditions just too ripe... I saw him sometime later, alone, when he passed me in traffic... he was weaving traffic behind me, but when he came abreast he wouldn't even look at me, even when I popped the throttle... he wasn't wearing driving gloves this time... I think I at least broke him of that... 

    it's always the tiny things... I've only told this story to a handful of people, and usually only when a similar topic arises. 
  • Michael TMichael T Member Posts: 7,227 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2016

    Awesome story Drew!

    Many years ago we were in my friend's Chevy ll with a transplanted big block in it. It ran at the races under the name Claim Jumper. But on the streets it was a real sleeper, it had truck mufflers for the street with a pull handle to straight thrus.

    Same type of guy on my buddy's *ss - same behaviour.

    The following happened real fast in real time.

    Finally the guy pulls up beside me yelling at me (I'm in the passenger's seat) I start pointing ahead to him. We accelerated to give him room, we were doing about 45 mph on a city street.

    Now, he's now screaming at me, making cut throat motions and just about to give me the finger when.....

    He slams into the back of a 25 ton fully loaded street flusher/sweeper that is doing about 2 mph.

    Biggest puff of dirt and crashing metal I have ever seen/heard on a city street.

    My buddy just shut her down and we cruised on at 30 mph.

    There is a car god who takes care of morons!

  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    You guys crack me up!

    The little Hondas are the worst offenders.  More than once, I've seen a Civic with so much camber that the outer edge of the tire is literally not touching the pavement.  Somebody did that on purpose.  

    Of course, every make has its sinners, such as this $100K monstrosity:



    You know this car has never seen a race track, but check out the surfboards glued to the bottom, and the winglets on the front bumper.  That's just not right.  No, not right at all.  I'm sure it makes him and his buddies extremely happy, and that's fine, but it makes me throw up a little in the back of my mouth.
  • aero3113aero3113 Member Posts: 9,042 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That would be a beautiful Audi S5 if it didn't have those planks on it!
    2008 330EC
  • jme097jme097 Member Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭
    Hahaha, you guys make me laugh. I have a ZL1 and I get the annoying offers everyday! Nothing is worse than a bunch of kids in a tricked out Civic pulling up to you then pulling away and endangering some other drivers on the road. 


    Boat Name: Knot A Worry
    2007 280 Rinker Express 6.2L B3
  • Black_DiamondBlack_Diamond Member Posts: 5,439 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Someone on here must have a 2016 Viper ACR. That's a car done right. 

    Past owner of a 2003 342FV
    PC BYC, Holland, MI
  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    When a Civic is properly set up for road racing, it can be a serious corner-carver.  But this is the kind of nonsense that irritates me:


  • jme097jme097 Member Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭
    LMAO
    Boat Name: Knot A Worry
    2007 280 Rinker Express 6.2L B3
  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    That Civic would wet its pants if it pulled up next to a ZL1.
  • Glassguy54Glassguy54 Member Posts: 588 ✭✭✭
    I've not seen  anything like this round these parts before (the above depicted Civic), but I have to say that must be just about the most ridiculous (I dunno, maybe I should say "DOPE") thing I have ever seen in 62 years. Just so I can be "down with the kids", maybe I should do this to my Silverado  2500HD LTZ? HA!
  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    Sure, you can slam your Silverado - just don't do it to your Rinker!
  • raybo3raybo3 Administrator Posts: 5,501 admin
    Now dont hate me are anything like that.....LOL but isn't that the same thing as light up cup holders and fake wood seadek?????? Just say'n......LOL (tongue and cheek guys, I am just kidding) 
    2002 342 Fiesta Vee PC Point Of Pines YC Revere MA. popyc.org     raybo3@live.com
  • Michael TMichael T Member Posts: 7,227 ✭✭✭✭✭

    oooooh Ray you are livin' dangerously. Next you'll be after my color changing and strobing underwater lights....wait a minute Bryan's lights. LOL

    Here's my view. Most of the morons with race track mods would flip and roll their cars on the first turn at a track (as @La Rea knows, from his skill tutorials))

    THAT's what gets me about these little knobs, they are just wanna be's - we call them posseurs!

    BTW have you ever noticed that these little f*rts can hardly see over their steering wheels. It seems the smaller they are the more cr*p is on their car.

    Like Drew, I have had a couple of guys get out at a stop light and walk over to me. As I reached for the door handle the Admiral would ask "Are you really going to use that same line again?" Yes dear, I am.

    Like Drew, I'd start to get out, and out, and out. By the time I stood up they were looking at the belt buckle of a 6'6" guy.

    Then my line. "So, how do you expect this to end?"

    I never started a fight in my life and I never lost one.

    My late dad, a hand-to-hand combat specialist, Golden Gloves in the heavy weight division: Amateur record 24 fights - 22 K.Os first round 2 T.K.O.s first round.

    I may be an old geezer but I still have some decent skills c/o the old man!

  • 212rowboat212rowboat Member Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'm ALL about mods... but function over form... form when obtainable, but function first.  
  • raybo3raybo3 Administrator Posts: 5,501 admin
    MT I am just playing around. Any time some upgrades or adds a mod its always good. Again just playing around..........
    2002 342 Fiesta Vee PC Point Of Pines YC Revere MA. popyc.org     raybo3@live.com
  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    But @212rowboat -- I could "lower the stance" of my Rinker by adding a bunch of lead ballast!  And I could buy that plastic faux hood scoop from @elarson5757 ... and install fake hydrofoils to look like an America's Cup racer.  

    To complete the Honda Civic look, I could get a couple of those coffee-can exhaust mufflers. 
  • Dream_InnDream_Inn Member, Moderator Posts: 7,661 mod
    Well, maybe I shouldn't say it.....but, those go-fast boats are lower to the water, loud exhaust out the back &...(I'm gonna shut up, I'm sound like an old fart :) )

    Dream 'Inn III -- 2008 400 Express

  • MDboaterMDboater Member Posts: 298 ✭✭✭
    LaRea said:
    When a Civic is properly set up for road racing, it can be a serious corner-carver.  But this is the kind of nonsense that irritates me:


    I guess your profession isn't tire sales or you might like this quite a lot.
  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    The car could only be loved by tire salesmen and chiropractors. And maybe undertakers, since it would crash at any speed above 40 mph.
  • craigswardmtbcraigswardmtb Member Posts: 1,015 ✭✭✭

    My eyes are bleeding.  The Fast and the Furious has done horrible things for this nation.... 

    Too many of these slammed cool kid cars pull up to me and want to race my modified SHO.  I think its a great looking car so I didn't touch the outside but the engine i did a few things too.  Typically I ignore but if there is a pretty girl in the passenger seat i'll smoke all 4 wheels to 2nd gear and shut it down...  Maybe if I made the outside of my car look faster they wouldn't bother me as much...

  • frenchshipfrenchship Member Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭
    Hey guys.
    I do agreed with you but.  Don't you remember when you where 18 to 21 years old, probably at that age you would have think that one day you be cruising in a cruiser.  ;)
  • Michael TMichael T Member Posts: 7,227 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ....yeah @frenchship but MY cruiser had twin 502 Mags, an all black hull and scared the sh*t out of all the sea rays, cruisers, chaparrals and formulas. I couldn't BUY a race!!!!!....which at over 40gph flat out would have added-up LOL
  • MarkBMarkB Member Posts: 3,973 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I hadon't a civic when I was 18. I think I paid $7000 for it. It had probably a $5000 sound system in it. Lol.

    Boat Name: King Kong

    "Boat + Water = Fun"

  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You guys are a funny bunch, LaRea where can I buy one of those gimos that shoots water out like a rooster tail for my cruiser, i usely run 25 - 28 mph LOL
    Boat Name : 

  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 7,747 mod
    You heard it first here on RBOC:  when I build my prototype water-spurt-thingy, @randy56 wants to buy one.

    OK, last Honda Civic photo -- and only because this one is an actual race car.  "Our Lady of Perpetual Downforce" competed in the 24 Hours of Lemons (a real race, look it up) and won the coveted "Dangerous Banned Technology" trophy.  

    Look for it soon at a shopping mall near you.  But please don't put this technology on a boat.


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