Best Of

And your reply was “Yeah, I need to ask for a refund too...”?

A Racy Fishing Story!
Randy and Handy's recent fishing trip reminded me of this story.

An older widower moved to a senior's community in Florida after his wife passed. They had been life long fishing partner's and he missed both fishing and her company in the boat. So he posted an ad in the community paper and was delighted when a fit looking lady around his age answered the ad and they agreed to go fishing the next day.
They didn't talk much, but it was a beautiful day even if the fishing was slow. After being anchored for a time at a fork in the river with no success he pointed at the fork in the river and said to her "Up or Down?
She just gave him a weird look. So he repeated it, "Up or Down?"
She sighed, put her fishing rod down and pulled of her pants and leaned back in the seat and beckoned him over.
Wow! he thought, a fishing partner with benefits!. So he dutifully obliged. Afterwards feeling really good he resumed fishing. At another fork in the river he again pointed and asked "Up or Down?", and again the same result.
After that he was rather spent, so they headed back to the ramp. After a bit of persuasion she agreed to go fishing with him again the next day. Being a little worried about how it might go he made sure to drop by a pharmacy for a little blue pill which he took before picking his new fishing partner up.
Once on the water he wasted no time in racing to the first fork and again, "Up or Down?"
"Up" she says and continues to fish. So upriver he goes. At the next bend, and getting uncomfortable because of the blue pill he again asks "Up or Down?"
"Down" she says. And so on, all day long.
The fellow finally gives up and takes her back to the ramp. As he is painfully crouched over trying to load the boat he looks at her and says "What's wrong? All day yesterday when I asked you "Up or Down?" you were ready for sex, but today, nothing?

Oh, she says. Yesterday I forgot my hearing aids and I thought you were pointing at the water and saying "F#%k or Drown"!

As many of you know, I fly a lot. A lot.

Anyway the person sitting next to me on a flight was an attractive woman.

Ever the charmer, I used one of my “best” lines on her.

I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to a good-looking man?”

“Yes,” she replied, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.”