Joke of the Day

Willhound

Rainbow poop!

randy56

Handymans342

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND 

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"

 

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! 

 

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." 

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" 

 

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." 

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. 

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." 

 

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep". 

Ian

Now that's a good one....

GMSLITHO

randy56

MarkB

I'm Italian ... I don't give a dang what they call everything else, but it is ITALIAN sausage. PERIOD.  We are proud of our food!

Willhound

I'm Finn. I don't think there's much named after us, although my friends point out it's the closest thing to a fish's a$$!

MarkB

Willhound said:

I'm Finn. I don't think there's much named after us, although my friends point out it's the closest thing to a fish's a$$!

What was that alcohol you guys make that I had copious amounts of in Kokkola??

Willhound

@MarkB there are several, vodka being the obvious one. There are several liqueurs made from Cloudberries and Lingoberries. There is also a lower alcohol home made hooch called Siima that uses fruit (usually lemons) and raisins and sugar that is left to ferment for a few weeks but not distilled. So like adult lemonade. Siima is usually one i with the two little dots (called umlots) over it so pronounced "Seema".

mattie

MarkB

Willhound said:

@MarkB there are several, vodka being the obvious one. There are several liqueurs made from Cloudberries and Lingoberries. There is also a lower alcohol home made hooch called Siima that uses fruit (usually lemons) and raisins and sugar that is left to ferment for a few weeks but not distilled. So like adult lemonade. Siima is usually one i with the two little dots (called umlots) over it so pronounced "Seema".

It tasted like vodka, but they had a local name for it ... maybe the brand. I don't know, but I got to bed at 4 am ... it was still light outside when we got back to our hotel, and we had to be up at 7 am for a site visit ... was good fun!

GMSLITHO

thats great 

Handymans342

RiverRat232

shawnmjr said:

They are changing the name to EBT Card.

randy56

dalek

randy56

LaRea

I know, right?!?  Code says it has to be a GFCI outlet.

raybo3

@LaRea could be on a GFI breaker or the load side of a GFCI....... Bwahahahahahaha

RiverRat232

randy56

We just spent $10,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull. We noticed that all he did was eat grass and he completely ignored the herd so I called my vet to come take a look at him.

The vet said he was very healthy but just a little young so he gave us some pills to give the bull.

Within two days he was servicing my cows...all of them...and even jumping the fence to take care of my neighbors' cows.
He was like a machine.

My neighbor asked me what kind of pills we were giving him and I said "I don't know, but they taste kind of like peppermint."

Willhound

Handymans342

Not!!!

LaRea

@Handymans342 that is what's known as New Hotness.  You and I are what's known as Old Busted Hotness.  

LaRea

It's a thing.  Look it up.

RiverRat232

I have read that women find the "dad bod"  attractive. I am having trouble finding these women.

Handymans342

RiverRat232 said:

I have read that women find the "dad bod"  attractive. I am having trouble finding these women.

Just go to A Golden Corral, there are many women looking for you. 

randy56

PickleRick