Joke of the Day

LaRea

randy56

Humm did not get it, had to ask the wife. FloRida is a rapper/singer. 

RiverRat232

randy56 said:

Humm did not get it, had to ask the wife. FloRida is a rapper/singer. 

Knew who Flo was. I am not up on my rappers either.

dalek

randy56

• CREATION
  
  A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
  So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
  'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
  God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
  God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  WORDS
  
  A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
  30,000 to a man's 15,000.
  The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
  The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  WOMEN'S REVENGE
  
  'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
  As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
  'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
  'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
  And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  WHO DOES WHAT
  
  A man and his wife were having an argument about who
  Should brew the coffee each morning.
  The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
  And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
  The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
  You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
  Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
  Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
  So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says
  
  'HEBREWS'
  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  The Silent Treatment
  
  A man and his wife were having some problems at home
  And were giving each other the silent treatment.
  Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
  At 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
  Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
  'Please wake me at 5:00 AM. He left it where he knew she would find it.
  The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight
  Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
  When he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
  The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
  Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Willhound

YYZRC

Not in this market!  Nearly impossible!!

mattie

So that Corona Premier is good beer!

aero3113

@mattie , I’ve read that book also, very helpful.

randy56

Say's something about the author.

Handymans342

YYZRC

I get it!!

randy56

randy56

RiverRat232

Understanding women is like learning to master a space ship launch. Understanding men is like learning to master a light switch.

Willhound

randy56

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.



“I figured it was time to get out of the house. My neighbor with the big boobs has been gardening topless all afternoon,” the guy tells the bartender.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” the bartender laughs.

“Well, it wouldn’t be if his wife would try it occasionally.”

LaRea

The failing student, who had done essentially nothing for the entire school year, emailed his teacher:  "Can I do something to get an A in your class?"

The exhausted teacher, with just two weeks left in the school year, replied:  "Now!?  It's May!" 

Student:  "Oh, duh.  MAY I do something to get an A in your class?"


**Because this is the time of year for teacher humor!  If you have children in school, tell their teachers you appreciate them.  

YYZRC

Or, if you live in Ontario, your child hasn’t been in school in months - nothing funny about that!  🙄

randy56

Ian

How true.

mattie

Willhound

PickleRick

Willhound

Just for Father's Day!

randy56

Handymans342

A man and his wife take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach...

As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger

than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.

She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother

that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.

She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play

Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother:

'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets..........

Black_Diamond

randy56

randy56