Joke of the Day

Black_Diamond

randy56

PickleRick

mattie

PickleRick

The queen will no longer send you a birthday card when you turn 100 but Prince Charles will send your daughter a text when she turns 16

PickleRick

PickleRick said:

How can anyone dislike this?  You can't write comic material like this!!   To make it fair, Trump looks like he is half a creature from Narnia

randy56

i do not understand it?  not a batman follower.

Ian

randy56 said:

i do not understand it?  not a batman follower.

Yeah, was lost on me too.

PickleRick

The 90s batman films would be the ones to watch.  Tim Burton as well as Batman forever 

oscar1

mattie

Willhound

rasbury

that was a pucker....

mattie

mattie

Black_Diamond

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

randy56

rasbury

The cops arrive at a home after neighbors reported gun shots. They go into the house and find a man and a woman in bed naked and both shot. In the living room lies a man also shot and the weapon by his side. One says to the other,  yep, husband comes home and finds his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then himself. The other officer says yes, but when the sherriff gets here he will say it could have been worse. Shortly the sherriff arrives, he views the scene and agrees- but says it could have been worse. The surprised deputy says how is that possible? The sherrif looks at the deputy and says "if this had been yesterday it would be me lying in that bed!"

Willhound

Fred and Mary got married.

But they can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. 

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. 

She replies, "No". 

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" 

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." 

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" 

She replies, "No." 

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" 

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." 

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" 

His mom says "No." 

He asks, "Do you know what I think?" 

His mom replies, "Ok, ok, tell me what you think!!!"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

mattie

YYZRC

The slides are in such pain. 

Willhound

That whole sled is hurting with those two big fella's on a 250 Bravo.....and no snow....

oscar1

randy56

mattie

randy56

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, the lot.

Willhound

oscar1

I am happy to report FLORIDA still a beacon of Freedom, meaning cheaper gas for boating.

Willhound

Making Florida the biggest joke of the day!

oscar1

Willhound said:

Making Florida the biggest joke of the day!

You alway welcome to the RED State of Florida.