Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did. For years he guided ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain - every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe.
In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain's quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and... The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper:
Smart Captain, I boat many places where getting on the incorrect side of a channel marker is very bad. That's why this little guy is "suction cupped" to my helm. I spin him around according to the direction we are headed for a quick reference .....red right returning....or pay the boatyard and put some fiberglass guys kids through college!
I run through my mind red left leaving, red right returning....I'm sure everyone has there own system as it is easy to get distracted and a few minutes of that can be dangerous!
Only in America Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America... do they leave boats worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America... do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in America... do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America... do they use the word "politics" to describe the process so well; "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures". Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
After a great day on the water my boating buddy and I were in our favourite dockside pub. I pointed across the bar at two grizzled looking broken down salty bums. I said, "Ya know matey, if we're not careful....someday that'll be us!"
@Black_Diamond. I am Irish and yes, I was there when the two Irishmen walked out of the bar. It was St. Patrick's Day, 2016....that said - they walked into it on St. Patrick's day 1950, so maybe they can be forgiven? :-)
Comments
Dream 'Inn III -- 2008 400 Express
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did. For years he guided ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain - every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe.
In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain's quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and... The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper:
Port Left
Starboard Right
Smart Captain, I boat many places where getting on the incorrect side of a channel marker is very bad. That's why this little guy is "suction cupped" to my helm. I spin him around according to the direction we are headed for a quick reference .....red right returning....or pay the boatyard and put some fiberglass guys kids through college!
Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America... do they leave boats worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America... do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America... do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America... do they use the word "politics" to describe the process so well; "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
yes, it happened.
lol
PC BYC, Holland, MI
I said, "Ya know matey, if we're not careful....someday that'll be us!"
"Ya dumb albatross ", sez he. "That's a mirror!"
2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)
Dave
2002 Captiva 212, 5.0 220 hp, Alpha 1, 1.62 gears
Moon Township, PA - boating in the Ohio River
2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)
06 Rinker 270
2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)