Joke of the Day

Handymans342

That must be @JoeStang

aero3113

Handymans342 said:

That must be @JoeStang

LoL!!

randy56

LOL she was not as hot as she thought she was. 

Michael T

Handy ........SERIOUSLY????? Come on - I don't that's Joe style. He'd talk "Felicia" into a bigger boat, smaller bikini and to bringing three similar girlfriends along who would all pay for his gas and beer. Then wax his.....boat. Now THAT'S Joe!

JoeStang

Hahaha you guys crack me up. But in all seriousness Michael that sounds like a dang fine plan.

I'll say this, I bought the boat when I was married, and now I'm not married. I still have the boat. Do the math.

Willhound

Michael T

......and when I do I think RINKER!

Black_Diamond

Funny one

Black_Diamond

randy56

Why Boats Are Better Than Women

Both are expensive and high maintenance, but you get to ride your boat more.

You can steer a boat in any direction you want.

If your boat isn't running, you can choke it a few times and it'll crank up and run right.

You can swap your old boat out for a new one and still keep your house and car. Plus, older boats don't trash you every time they see you with your new boat.

You don't mind if your buddies see you being dragged behind your boat.

When you get on them, boats don't gripe about how you've gained weight.

Boats don't mind when you ride other boats.

A boat's bottom is always the same size as the first time you boarded it.

When boats retain water you can pull the plug and drain them.

When you have no use for a boat, you can put it in storage until you're ready to play with it again.

You can share your boat with friends.

If your boat makes to much noise, you can by a muffler for it.

You can ride in your boat anytime of the month.

If you boat smokes you can do something about it.

Boats don't whine unless there really is something wrong.

Boats don't care if when you’re through with them, you take a nap.

Boats don't care how many other boats you've been in.

If your boat is to loose, you can tighten it up.

Boats don't care if you look at "boat" magazines.

You can have a beer while riding in your boat.

Boats always feel like going for a ride.

Boats never insult your driving skills.

Your boat never wants a night out with other boats.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your boat.

Boats don't care if you’re late.

If your boat is late it is really no big deal, they can't get pregnant.

You don't have to deal with a priest or a blood test, to register your boat.

If you say bad things to your boat, you don't have to apologize to it or buy it flowers before you can ride in it again.

You can drive your boat as long as you'd like and it will not get sore.

When riding in your boat, you both arrive at the same time.

Boats don't have this "mysterious spot" that no one can find.

Boats don't care if you don't call the next day.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your boat, and generally recommended.

You can't get any STD’s from your boat or test driving other boats.

Boats have lots of curves, but they never sag.

When you’re finished with your boat, you can sell it and it's still worth something.

You can control the speed of the boat and the time of its arrival.

And last but not least, they are always wet when it's time to start. 

Handymans342

You still married Bro? LOL

LaRea

Why women are better than boats:  You'd carve your boat's bowsprit to look like a beautiful woman, but you'd never carve a woman's bosom to look like a boat. 

Michael T

@LaRea......no, butt some of them just end up that way naturally.

reneechris14

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Dream_Inn

I just read these to the admiral while on the boat. Well, the boat didn't mind. 😉

randy56

Handymans342 said:

You still married Bro? LOL

Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

Ian

reneechris14 said:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Or is that "beerholder"

Dream_Inn

randy56 said:

Handymans342 said:

You still married Bro? LOL

Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

Now wait a minute, I didn't let her read the forum, I just read some of the items from this post to her.  She knows better than to look at this forum!

raybo3

Dream_Inn said:

randy56 said:

Handymans342 said:

You still married Bro? LOL

Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

Now wait a minute, I didn't let her read the forum, I just read some of the items from this post to her.  She knows better than to look at this forum!

@DI why would your admiral know better than to look at the forum???? We run a nice clean family orientated site.........LOL

Dream_Inn

raybo3 said:

Dream_Inn said:

randy56 said:

Handymans342 said:

You still married Bro? LOL

Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

Now wait a minute, I didn't let her read the forum, I just read some of the items from this post to her.  She knows better than to look at this forum!

@DI why would your admiral know better than to look at the forum???? We run a nice clean family orientated site.........LOL

There's some stuff you just don't tinker in.  I leave her pinterest and whatever else online alone.  Every now & then I'll get "hey, what do think about this for a boat drink or food"....yep, sounds great!   Either way, it's usually all about boating for both of us!

GMSLITHO

Its a hot day and the penguins car breaks down .
He gets it to the garage and while he waits for the repair he spots a ice cream stand 
down the road 
he gets his ice cream ,but its so hot a lot of it melts and drips all over his chest 
getting back to the garage he sees the mechanic and asks about the car 
the mechanic looks and tells him it looks like he blew a seal 

he turs to the mechanic and says no thats just the  ice cream 

rasbury

So, the preacher is complaing to another preacher that some one in his congregation stole his bicycle. The other preacher suggested that his next sermon he talk about the 10 commandments and when he got to thou shall not steal, really hammer the point Later that week when they met again, the preacher asked how it went and if the thieve repented. The other preacher said no but when the sermon got to the commandment thou shall not comit adultery, I forgot where I left my bicycle!

Handymans342

Good one

raybo3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ETlTZoF1E

Ian

rasbury said:

So, the preacher is complaing to another preacher that some one in his congregation stole his bicycle. The other preacher suggested that his next sermon he talk about the 10 commandments and when he got to thou shall not steal, really hammer the point Later that week when they met again, the preacher asked how it went and if the thieve repented. The other preacher said no but when the sermon got to the commandment thou shall not comit adultery, I forgot where I left my bicycle!

You mean he remembered where he left it. 

rasbury

Well, I never was very good with the punch line, I did ok with the first part right?

Ian

Yep!

Britinusa

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

gack

randy56

True story, my wife has mentioned many time's how much time I spend on this forum, looking at boat's online, searching how to repair, buying parts, the amazon bill, ect. My reply was well look at it this way,  Honey at least it is not porn! Her reply was That may be cheaper !