Joke of the Day

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  • LaReaLaRea Alexandria VirginiaPosts: 3,625Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Looks like Handy's back yard.  
  • Handymans342Handymans342 Posts: 7,756Member ✭✭✭✭✭
  • Handymans342Handymans342 Posts: 7,756Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    LaRea said:
    Looks like Handy's back yard.  
    Lets see what your backyard looks like after the storm Mr Gman .Hahahahhahahaha
  • LaReaLaRea Alexandria VirginiaPosts: 3,625Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Latest prediction, we will get ... less than one inch.  Chance of 10-foot gators, zero percent.  
  • Handymans342Handymans342 Posts: 7,756Member ✭✭✭✭✭
  • rasburyrasbury Sanford, FLPosts: 5,630Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Can't fix stupid. He needed a bigger towel.
  • randy56randy56 Newburgh INPosts: 2,698Member ✭✭✭✭

    Police, fed up with lingering cold weather, 'arrests' winter

    Monday, April 9th 2018, 7:18 am CDTMonday, April 9th 2018, 3:23 pm CDT

    DEPEW, N.Y. (AP) - An upstate New York police department fed up with lingering cold weather has placed winter under arrest.

    The Post-Standard reports the Depew Police Department wrote Friday in a humorous Facebook post that it had arrested the season. Police said any more snow winter produces would be held against it in court.

    The department also called for groundhog Punxsutawney Phil to turn himself in for predicting six more weeks of winter. Police joke that they're willing to look past winter's "most recent transgressions" if it works with the department.

    New York has experienced wintry weather this month and high winds that caused power outages.

    Boat Name : Knot My Prolem

    2003 - 270
  • Lake_BumLake_Bum Flagstaff, AZ Posts: 405Member ✭✭✭
    2000 Captiva 232 
  • Handymans342Handymans342 Posts: 7,756Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hahahahahahahha
  • Handymans342Handymans342 Posts: 7,756Member ✭✭✭✭✭
  • aero3113aero3113 Long Island, NYPosts: 2,901Member ✭✭✭✭✭
  • randy56randy56 Newburgh INPosts: 2,698Member ✭✭✭✭
    LOL she was not as hot as she thought she was. 
    Boat Name : Knot My Prolem

    2003 - 270
  • Michael TMichael T Posts: 6,685Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Handy ........SERIOUSLY????? Come on - I don't that's Joe style. He'd talk "Felicia" into a bigger boat, smaller bikini and to bringing three similar girlfriends along who would all pay for his gas and beer. Then wax his.....boat. Now THAT'S Joe!
  • JoeStangJoeStang Metro DetroitPosts: 1,019Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2018
    Hahaha you guys crack me up. But in all seriousness Michael that sounds like a dang fine plan.

    I'll say this, I bought the boat when I was married, and now I'm not married. I still have the boat. Do the math. :D
    2013 276 Cuddy ~ 350 MAG / B3
  • WillhoundWillhound Lake Simcoe, Ontario, CanadaPosts: 2,130Member ✭✭✭✭
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • Michael TMichael T Posts: 6,685Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    ......and when I do I think RINKER!
  • Black_DiamondBlack_Diamond Holland, MichiganPosts: 4,712Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Funny one

    2003 342FV "Black Diamond", 350 MAG MPI, 20P 4x4 Props, PC BYC, Holland, MI
  • shawnmjrshawnmjr Detroit MIPosts: 1,450Member ✭✭✭✭
    I think this may be @JoeStang philosophy 
  • randy56randy56 Newburgh INPosts: 2,698Member ✭✭✭✭
    Why Boats Are Better Than Women
    Both are expensive and high maintenance, but you get to ride your boat more.

    You can steer a boat in any direction you want.

    If your boat isn't running, you can choke it a few times and it'll crank up and run right.

    You can swap your old boat out for a new one and still keep your house and car. Plus, older boats don't trash you every time they see you with your new boat.

    You don't mind if your buddies see you being dragged behind your boat.

    When you get on them, boats don't gripe about how you've gained weight.

    Boats don't mind when you ride other boats.

    A boat's bottom is always the same size as the first time you boarded it.

    When boats retain water you can pull the plug and drain them.

    When you have no use for a boat, you can put it in storage until you're ready to play with it again.

    You can share your boat with friends.

    If your boat makes to much noise, you can by a muffler for it.

    You can ride in your boat anytime of the month.

    If you boat smokes you can do something about it.

    Boats don't whine unless there really is something wrong.

    Boats don't care if when you’re through with them, you take a nap.

    Boats don't care how many other boats you've been in.

    If your boat is to loose, you can tighten it up.

    Boats don't care if you look at "boat" magazines.

    You can have a beer while riding in your boat.

    Boats always feel like going for a ride.

    Boats never insult your driving skills.

    Your boat never wants a night out with other boats.

    You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your boat.

    Boats don't care if you’re late.

    If your boat is late it is really no big deal, they can't get pregnant.

    You don't have to deal with a priest or a blood test, to register your boat.

    If you say bad things to your boat, you don't have to apologize to it or buy it flowers before you can ride in it again.

    You can drive your boat as long as you'd like and it will not get sore.

    When riding in your boat, you both arrive at the same time.

    Boats don't have this "mysterious spot" that no one can find.

    Boats don't care if you don't call the next day.

    It's always ok to use tie downs on your boat, and generally recommended.

    You can't get any STD’s from your boat or test driving other boats.

    Boats have lots of curves, but they never sag.

    When you’re finished with your boat, you can sell it and it's still worth something.

    You can control the speed of the boat and the time of its arrival.

    And last but not least, they are always wet when it's time to start. 

    Boat Name : Knot My Prolem

    2003 - 270
  • Handymans342Handymans342 Posts: 7,756Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    You still married Bro? LOL
  • LaReaLaRea Alexandria VirginiaPosts: 3,625Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    Why women are better than boats:  You'd carve your boat's bowsprit to look like a beautiful woman, but you'd never carve a woman's bosom to look like a boat. 
  • Michael TMichael T Posts: 6,685Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    @LaRea......no, butt some of them just end up that way naturally.
  • reneechris14reneechris14 Pawcatuck river CTPosts: 2,239Member ✭✭✭✭
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    2005 Rinker FV342  Pawcatuck river,Ct
  • Dream_InnDream_Inn Annapolis, MDPosts: 5,522Member, Moderator mod
    I just read these to the admiral while on the boat. Well, the boat didn't mind. 😉

    Dream 'Inn III -- 2008 400 Express

  • randy56randy56 Newburgh INPosts: 2,698Member ✭✭✭✭
    You still married Bro? LOL
    Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............
    Boat Name : Knot My Prolem

    2003 - 270
  • icoulthaicoultha Niskayuna NYPosts: 1,314Member ✭✭✭
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    Or is that "beerholder" :)

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Rear Commodore, Crescent Boat Club

  • Dream_InnDream_Inn Annapolis, MDPosts: 5,522Member, Moderator mod
    randy56 said:
    You still married Bro? LOL
    Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

    Now wait a minute, I didn't let her read the forum, I just read some of the items from this post to her.  She knows better than to look at this forum! :)

    Dream 'Inn III -- 2008 400 Express

  • raybo3raybo3 Revere MAPosts: 4,309Moderator mod
    Dream_Inn said:
    randy56 said:
    You still married Bro? LOL
    Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

    Now wait a minute, I didn't let her read the forum, I just read some of the items from this post to her.  She knows better than to look at this forum! :)
    @DI why would your admiral know better than to look at the forum???? We run a nice clean family orientated site.........LOL
    2002 342 Fiesta Vee PC Point Of Pines YC Revere MA. popyc.org
  • Dream_InnDream_Inn Annapolis, MDPosts: 5,522Member, Moderator mod
    raybo3 said:
    Dream_Inn said:
    randy56 said:
    You still married Bro? LOL
    Unlike Dream, I do not let my wife read the Rinker forum, Dream is a much braver man than I. He will pay for it, maybe not today but she will not forget............

    Now wait a minute, I didn't let her read the forum, I just read some of the items from this post to her.  She knows better than to look at this forum! :)
    @DI why would your admiral know better than to look at the forum???? We run a nice clean family orientated site.........LOL

    There's some stuff you just don't tinker in.  I leave her pinterest and whatever else online alone.  Every now & then I'll get "hey, what do think about this for a boat drink or food"....yep, sounds great! :)  Either way, it's usually all about boating for both of us! :)

    Dream 'Inn III -- 2008 400 Express

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