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Yep. I'm not far from Slippery Rock (son went to SRU). Trump signs are everywhere around here.
My grandparents used to rent a house to an SRU frat.
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too," says the duck.
"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.
"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.
"I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks.
Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him
"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.
"Get him to give me a call."
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,
"Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?"
"At the circus," Says the barman.
"The circus?" Repeats the duck.
"That's right," Replies the barman.
"The circus?" The duck asks again.
“With the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies.
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says
"What the f*$k would they want with a plasterer??!
😁
Regards,
Ian
The Third “B”
Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club
https://www.rcyachtclub.com/
PC BYC, Holland, MI
The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, a well-dressed, good-looking man in his late fifties.
May I help you sir?" she asked.
The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.
He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."
Just then, a gorgeous Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. "There are no discounts. The price is still $5,000."
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row". Where are you from?"
The man replied, "Great Falls."
"Really," she said. "I have family in Great Falls."
"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
Regards,
Ian
The Third “B”
Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club
https://www.rcyachtclub.com/
PC BYC, Holland, MI
Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly,
sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home.
She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.
The little Boy says:
"Dark in here."
The Man says:
"Yes, it is."
Boy:
;I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?"
Man:
;No, thanks."
Boy:
;My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man:
"OK, how much?"
Boy: 😜😜😜
"$1,000."
A few weeks later it happened again , and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.
Boy:
"Dark in here."
Man:
;Yes, it is."
Boy:
"I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, and asks the boy:
"How much?"
The Boy says 😜😜😜
"$5,000."
The Man says:
"Fine, I will buy them."
A few days later, the Father says to the boy:
"Grab your ball and boots,
let's go outside and have a game."
The Boy says:
"I can't, I sold them for $ 6,000."
The Father says:😳😳😳😳😳
"That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your "SINS."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The Boy says:
"Dark in here."
😜😜😜😜😜
The Priest says:
"Don't start that $hit again!"
😜💥
THIS IS MY CHURCH, NOT YOUR DAD'S HOUSE !
Regards,
Ian
The Third “B”
Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club
https://www.rcyachtclub.com/
Regards,
Ian
The Third “B”
Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club
https://www.rcyachtclub.com/
Regards,
Ian
The Third “B”
Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club
https://www.rcyachtclub.com/
2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)
PC BYC, Holland, MI
2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ...
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes t o bed in his Bud Light stupor."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
Boat Name: King Kong
"Boat + Water = Fun"
PC BYC, Holland, MI
The prequel to the sopranos