Joke of the Day

1262729313263

Comments

  • PickleRickPickleRick Member Posts: 4,327 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • PickleRickPickleRick Member Posts: 4,327 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Willhound and I went for beer's, we stopped at three.


    Boat Name : 

  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,240 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Looks legit!
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270 (Sold)
    2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)
  • aero3113aero3113 Member Posts: 9,759 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @randy56 , your buddy with the stash couldn’t handle them. Looks like they were flowing for you!! 😎
    2008 330EC
  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,240 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @aero3113 Randy is the guy with the stash. I'm the guy with no hair and the beer belly..🤪
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270 (Sold)
    2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)
  • RiverRat232RiverRat232 Member Posts: 596 ✭✭✭

    Is it just me or can you see the teacher's bra through her shirt?
  • PickleRickPickleRick Member Posts: 4,327 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • PickleRickPickleRick Member Posts: 4,327 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • YYZRCYYZRC Member Posts: 5,396 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This is verbatim what I said to the Admiral before I bought the first boat...

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CG2nOYvBHc1/?igshid=pewivt8gq1kt
    2008 350 EC on Georgian Bay
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭
    funny, I had many thoughts but better kept to myself.
    Boat Name : 

  • Black_DiamondBlack_Diamond Member Posts: 5,439 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Past owner of a 2003 342FV
    PC BYC, Holland, MI
  • MarkBMarkB Member Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Awesome t-shirt!

    Boat Name: King Kong

    "Boat + Water = Fun"

  • prgrod01prgrod01 Member Posts: 53 ✭✭
    How can you prove a dog is man's best friend?

    Lock your dog and your wife in the closet, after 20 minutes let them both out and see who is happier to see you. 
    2001 Rinker 242
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ​​​​​​​RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
    1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
    3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
    8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
    13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
    I said, "Dust!".
    Can't you just hear him say all of these?
    I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
    Boat Name : 

  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Boat Name : 

  • IanIan Member Posts: 3,057 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

    The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

    "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

    His friend falls silent for a few minutes but then his curiosity prods him to ask                                                                                                                             "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

    "Ever since my wife found it in my truck.

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • diggin2day1diggin2day1 Member Posts: 1,331 ✭✭✭✭
  • oscar1oscar1 Member Posts: 803 ✭✭✭
    I like it
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A text to a neighbour:


    Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you’re not around, I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently. I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt & hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you. Richard

    Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.

    SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:

    Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.
    Boat Name : 

  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This is how bad the economy is:

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
    Boat Name : 

  • IanIan Member Posts: 3,057 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hehehe

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • mattiemattie Member Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭✭

    246BR, 276BR, H310BR current
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @mattie Freddie was a talent, to be remimbered. 
    Boat Name : 

  • LaReaLaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 8,056 mod
    If your boat gets sick, I know a dock.  She has great pier reviews.  But I will not tell you her name because boaters never share their most valuable resource.  
  • IanIan Member Posts: 3,057 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Snow White only has 6 dwarfs now as Sneezy is in quarantine...

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • DanD2DanD2 Member Posts: 848 ✭✭✭
    icoultha said:
    Snow White only has 6 dwarfs now as Sneezy is in quarantine...

    Yeah but that will only be for 14 days!!
    No longer a boat owner.....previous boat - 2005 Rinker Fiesta Vee 342
Sign In or Register to comment.