Joke of the Day

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  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @randy56 that about sums it up. At least for those of us old enough to have been taught both systems. Oddly enough I gauge temps above freezing in F but below freezing in metric C. I find it easier since it starts at zero and works down. At -40 both C and F are equal and where I originally come from that's at least two months of the year.
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • IanIan Member Posts: 2,774 ✭✭✭✭
    It's worse in the UK where they sell gas by the litre, drive in MPH and measure consumption by MPG.

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Willhound I had found it a bit confusing on our trip up there. But you helped clear up a lot of the confusion. Thank you. When I ran across this chart above I had to laugh,  that's the way it is.

    @icoultha what can you say (Britts)
    Boat Name : 

  • LaReaLaRea Member Posts: 7,503 ✭✭✭✭✭
    As a scientist, I'm probably more fluent in metric than most Americans.  Why, oh why can't we all just use metric.  

    Before you judge someone, you should walk 1.6 km in their shoes.
  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Probably one of the only reasons we aren't "fully" metric is because of our proximity to the U.S. and the huge cross border trade relationship we have. I work in construction materials and I can remember back in the 70's, early 80's when metric sized sheathing etc. came out. Nobody would use it, the trades were all used to working in Imperial. And because a lot of our wood materials are shipped to the U.S. it was also a major hassle.
    Everything is now back to Imperial sizes.
    When I get a set of drawings for a build take off they will be in Imperial if from an architect, but in Metric if from an engineer. Makes it interesting sometimes spec'ing material. 
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • rasburyrasbury Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I remember metic trying to catch on here for a bit late 70's I guess...
  • IanIan Member Posts: 2,774 ✭✭✭✭
    @LaRea as having grown up in Australia I am conversant in both with the mandate in the early seventies to be schooled the metric system, How easier can you get than in multiples of 10?

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2019
     
    Post edited by Willhound on
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • PickleRickPickleRick Member Posts: 3,882 ✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2019
    My neighbors house was destroyed by a tree falling during a storm a few months ago.  He lost pretty much everything.  Its sad.  Im starting a go fund me for a trip to Hawaii. Construction begins next week and don't want to hear all that nosie all day every day
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • PickleRickPickleRick Member Posts: 3,882 ✭✭✭✭
    I was supposed to be out of town for work all week and got finished early.  I decided i was gonna surprise the little lady, was about midnight when i got home.  When i got there her ex boyfriends truck was in the yard, i snuck around to the back of the house and crawled into my rinker to see what was going on, from the rinker i can see into the back patio windows really well. When i got into my rinker i noticed in the light reflecting off the garage there is some haze forming on the gel coat.  So what would you guys do? I really want to restore this gel coat.
  • MarkBMarkB Member Posts: 3,960 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Good one. I'd call the Ex Boyfriend out and hand him a polisher.

    Boat Name: King Kong

    "Boat + Water = Fun"

  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2019
     A fellow was convinced that his wife was cheating on him. He hired a professional tracker/hitman to find out. After following the cheating couple to a cheap motel he could clearly see them through an open curtain.
    He calls the husband and says "I'm sorry but I have to confirm your worst fears, they're together in a cheap motel room".
    The husband is angry and says "I want you to shoot him in the junk and shoot her in the head!"
    Hitman looks through his scope and says
    " No problem. I can do that with just one shot!"
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • IanIan Member Posts: 2,774 ✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2019
    That just doesn’t add up.... :smiley:

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
     The owner of a drug store walked into his store one day, only to notice a man leaning heavily against a wall.

    The owner went over to his staff member behind the counter and asked them, “What’s wrong with that guy over there by the wall?”

    The staff member replied, “Oh him – he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find any cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative instead.”

    The owner shouted, “You fool! What were you thinking? You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

    The staff member said, “Of course I can. Look at him, he’s not coughed once since I gave it to him – he’s too scared!”
    Boat Name : 

  • GMSLITHOGMSLITHO Member Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭✭
    Or the ice cream truck ,that’s great 
  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Not a joke really but funny Ice Cream truck story. When our daughter was much younger we moved into our current house. She was delighted one day to hear the familiar chimes of an ice cream truck coming down the street. She happily took the money I gave her and ran out the door. A minute later she came running back in crying and screams at me "What kind of a place did you move us to Dad?"

    I go tearing out to see what's going on.....
    An enterprising gentleman had purchased an old ice cream truck for his mobile knife, axe and tool sharpening business. He'd drive around and people would drop off their tools and he'd come back around the following week to drop them off.
    The kicker is the pictures of happy clowns all over the truck but beside them he added pictures of knives, axes etc.....

    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • IanIan Member Posts: 2,774 ✭✭✭✭
    A visiting pro golfer to a country town fancies a game so goes to the local course and seeks out a partner.
    "I can play tomorrow but not till 9:00, I may be 30 minutes late though" says Bob. Pro says great, see you then.

    9 o'clock comes and Bob arrives with left handed clubs, plays a stunning round and whips the pro. "How about a rematch?"

    "Sure, I can play tomorrow but not till 9:00, I may be 30 minutes late though" said Bob. Pro sighs and agrees.

    9 o'clock comes and Bob arrives with right hand clubs, plays a stunning round and whips the pro. "Seriously?" he thinks.

    "Well, how about another round?"

    "Sure, I can play tomorrow again but still not till 9:00 and I may be 30 minutes late though" says Bob.

    Pro is confused. "So, what's the story, left handed, you whip me. Right handed, again you beat me. And what's with the maybe 30 minutes late?"

    "Well I wake up in the morning" said Bob "and if the wife is lying on her left side I use left handed clubs. If she's on her right side I use right handed"

    "And if she's on her back" asks the pro.

    "Then I am going to be 30 minutes late."


    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • WillhoundWillhound Member Posts: 4,183 ✭✭✭✭✭
    randy56 said:

    “I see some for people I know but I can’t find one for my old friend @Willhound .”
    St. Peter then replied, “Oh, we keep his in the backroom and use it as a fan!”
    😂😂 yeah @randy56 my fun clock spun its hands off years ago!
    "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub.

    It’s a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house.

    The difference is staggering.
    Boat Name : 

  • GMSLITHOGMSLITHO Member Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭✭
    That’s great before there was any dwi laws back in the late 70’s I worked 2 nd shift in a printing plant in New Jersey there was a pressman there that lived in Long Island ny I asked him once how long it took him to get home he said “about a 6 pack” 
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
    "I always wanted to be a doctor. I don't know of any other occupation where you can tell a lady to take off her clothes and send the bill to her husband."
    Boat Name : 

  • IanIan Member Posts: 2,774 ✭✭✭✭
    You could always be a TV weather person and get a 6 figure or more salary and be wrong most of the time and still keep your job.

    Regards,

    Ian

    The Third “B”

    Secretary, Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

    https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

  • MarkBMarkB Member Posts: 3,960 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 2019

    A wife asks here husband to walk down the street to get some milk at the local convenience store.

    On his way back, he passes the local pub and thinks, heck I have time for a drink.

    He goes inside, has a beer and not long after a beautiful woman sits next to him and strikes a conversation.

    They get off well, and soon enough she's inviting him back to her place.  They end up doing the dirty.

    Husband then realized how late he is getting home, and ask the woman for some baby powder. She hands the bottle to him and he shakes it over his hands and leaves.

    When he gets home, his wife is standing there, arms crossed at the door, looking pretty mad. "WHERE have you been?"

    He replies, "Honey, I got the milk, and then on my way home I decided to have a beer at the local pub. A beautiful woman sat next to me, and we got along so well, she invited me back to her place and we had sex!"

    She stares him up and down for a few seconds and points to the white powder on his hands and says, "Liar! You've been out bowling again haven't you!"

    Boat Name: King Kong

    "Boat + Water = Fun"

  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • randy56randy56 Member Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭✭✭
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