Joke of the Day

PickleRick

p.o. must have mapped the globe with all the sonar equipment that was once found hanging on this transom.

All these wires, has to be a joke right???

PickleRick

rasbury

Ain't that the truth these days.   

Willhound

If I get lost in the woods I just crack open a beer.... guaranteed the Admiral will find me in two seconds flat.

Lake_Bum

PickleRick

randy56

randy56

I started today out with $400 in my wallet. My wife texted me she needs $100 for ladies night out. Then my son in college texted he needed $75 so he could fuel up his car for the weekend. My daughter texted saying she needed $75 for a new outfit for her date. At the end of the day I was left with $400 and three unread texts.

randy56

WET TEE SHIRT ! CONTEST 

rasbury

Yuk!

Glassguy54

For all you old $hit$, like me, out there, Back in the late 1940's, a group of well to do gentlemen were talking about what they were going to give to their wives for Christmas and as it turned out, they were all giving their wives new cars. Charlie said, "I'm going to give her a Kaiser and surprise her." Mitch said, "I'm going to give her a Frazer and amaze her." Bob said, "I'm going to give her a Tucker...."

Ian

raybo3

What's wrong with that??????

Willhound

I've seen "piercings" but those are ridiculous!

rasbury

Im just not seeing the problem but a room I will spend much more time in..

randy56

As usual one is bigger.

randy56

randy56

Me: Sweet dog you got there.



Policeman: Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.

Me: Still in training, huh?

Policeman: What do you mean?

Me: Nevermind.

Ian

Good one.

rasbury

Ah the days gone past...

randy56

Ian

Even worse if you're the pilot.....

Willhound

Similar story. Do you know what happens when you combine human DNA with Goat DNA?
Neither do I but apparently I'm no longer welcome at the petting zoo.😕

Lake_Bum

Glassguy54

Reminds me of Jimmy Kimmel's bit, "This week in unnecessary censorship" which is pretty funny, if you are familiar with it.

Ian

The wedding ceremony came to the point where the Minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child.

She stood up and started walking slowly towards the pastor.

The congregation was aghast as the penny dropped.

The Groom’s jaw dropped as he stared disbelievingly at the approaching young woman and child.

Chaos ensued. The bride threw the bouquet in the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted. 

The Best men started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The Minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us, why you came forward?

What do you have to say?”

 There was absolute silence in the church.

 The woman replied, "We can't hear you at the back of the church”.

randy56

Lake_Bum

Black_Diamond

Trump was an Epstein pal too. 

PickleRick

Epstine and Christmas lights, they dont hang themselves