Joke of the Day

Willhound

Yep. It is a true story. Difference is that a liquor licence in Canada is not transferable or saleable. Only $$ we would have seen was insurance.

boatman37

Yeah in PA I owned the liquor license so would have got the insurance money from the property damage then could have sold the license separate. Not sure if it has changed but back then there were a limited number of licenses available based on population. If there were no licenses available I could set my price. I had heard of some licenses selling for over $50,000. Of course the LCB (Liquor Control Board) had to approve any sale.

Ian

PickleRick

This may have already been posted

Supposed convo between British navy and Irish light house

Irish: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision.

British: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision.

Irish: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

British: This is the captain of a British navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Irish: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert your course.

British: This is the aircraft carrier HMS Invincible. The second largest ship in the British atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, two missile cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course, 15 degrees north, I say again, that is 15 degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure that safety of this ship.

Irish: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

 

PickleRick

rasbury

Thanks Rick- I did have a little leak and just added some..hope it helps!

Ian

Silly, should have used it on your transom leak too...

randy56

randy56

PickleRick

rasbury

I will take that challenge!

PS- never knew what that acronym stood for all these years...

Willhound

Wife texted me a pic of a dress she was trying on and asked if it made her look fat.
I quickly replied "Noooo" but stupid auto correct changed it to "Mooo"

I am currently hiding out in South America.....

Ian

I thought that was you I saw over there behind that tree ....

PickleRick

RiverRat232

randy56 said:

If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of tasty meat?

randy56

Or Teeth.

randy56

GMSLITHO

That’s funny 

PickleRick

randy56

Handymans342

Hahahahahhahaha

PickleRick

Handymans342

I want those!

PickleRick

randy56

As I get older I realize:

1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.
2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
4. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini-vacation.
7. The day the world runs out of margaritas is just too terrible to think about.
8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
9. "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I'm there.

PickleRick

PickleRick

PickleRick

PickleRick

RiverRat232

I went to the doctor's office a few days ago and when the doctor came into the room he said "Sir, you must stop masturbating." I asked "Why?" He replied "Because I am trying to talk to you."