Joke of the Day

PickleRick · July 2020

The lake we boat on has an island that was used as a grave yard back before the lake was built. Graves date back to war of 1812 and before. There are trails all along the island. I think this is a good weekend to try this along the trails then sit on our boat at anchor listening for screams. Peoele like to visit walk up the hill at night aswell as camp on it.

aero3113 · July 2020

That’s funny

PickleRick · July 2020

I just cut up about 10 empty rolls. Now we gotta get to the lake before dark friday

LaRea · July 2020

Found this on Amazon while looking for boat parts. It isn't compatible with my boat, or my marriage, but maybe somebody here needs one.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020499/uploads/editor/e6/0jp199fx69xw.jpg

https://www.amazon.com/Dometic-2932562065-Refrigerator-Door/dp/B00T36X5CW

Dream_Inn · July 2020

Very interesting LaRea. I guess you don't always get what's pictured!

aero3113 · July 2020

LoL!!

PickleRick · July 2020

The eyes in that thing look like something out of a nightmare.

Willhound · July 2020

Does she open the fridge door and get you a beer? Is that what it is?😆

LaRea · July 2020

Before you commit to buying this part, consider the maintenance.

randy56 · July 2020

A few thoughts and word to live by.............

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Will Rogers

Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

randy56 · July 2020

Willhound · July 2020

mattie · July 2020

randy56 · July 2020

PickleRick · August 2020

randy56 · August 2020

This joke may have been written by @Willhound ?????

A new and easy test for the horror of Covid-19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean).

Take a glass and pour a decent sized shot of your favorite whisky into it and then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.

Then drink it. If you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus because the loss of the sense of smell and taste is a common symptom.

I tested myself 7 times last night and was virus free every time.

Thank goodness.

I will have to test myself again today because I have developed a throbbing headache which can also be one of the symptoms.

I'll report my results later.

randy56 · August 2020

For those of you who are handy around the shop.

TOOLS EXPLAINED

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the
freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner
where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints
and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you
to say, 'Oh sh -- '

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their
holes until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the
grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing
race.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops
to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit
into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of
the outside edge.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil
on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out
Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used
to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and
butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic
bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic
parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in
use.

****-IT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage
while yelling '****-IT' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.