Joke of the Day

Comments

• MarkB Member Posts: 4,009 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  Executive Board of a company thinks the staff have become too complacent, and seek to find a CEO that can shift the culture to one of vigor! They hire a battle axe!  On his first day the CEO decides to walk around and find the first "loser" he can find, to make an example. He sees a guy in a meeting room attended by several people, and he's standing up slouched against a wall with jogging pants on!!! In an office?!?!  He walks in and asks him how much he makes each week ... the guy responds nervously .... "I don't know ... around $400?"

  The CEO briskly walks back to accounting and demands, "Give me $1600 cash, now!" He returns to the guy and says, "Here is 4 weeks pay, now get out of here!"  He then turns to the rest of the people in the room and says, "I'll have you know, I don't care who you are in this company, you either jack up your game, or you're out!"  He then asks, "What did that guy do for us anyhow?"

  One person softly responds ... "Pizza delivery guy ... Dominos".
  

  Boat Name: King Kong

  "Boat + Water = Fun"

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• Ian Member Posts: 3,064 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  RiverRat232 said:

  I went to the doctor's office a few days ago and when the doctor came into the room he said "Sir, you must stop masturbating." I asked "Why?" He replied "Because I am trying to talk to you."

  Hehe. Good one. 

  Regards,

  Ian

  The Third “B”

  Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

  https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

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• aero3113 Member Posts: 9,929 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

  2008 330EC

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• Handymans342 Member Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  aero3113 said:

  
  

  Or backing up an RV LOL

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• randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  or boat or empty trailer.

  Boat Name : 
  
  

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• PickleRick Member Posts: 4,385 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• PickleRick Member Posts: 4,385 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• Dream_Inn Member, Moderator Posts: 7,949 mod

  March 2020

  PickleRick said:

  
  

  Really it was just Handy missing his boat!
  

  Dream 'Inn III -- 2008 400 Express

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• aero3113 Member Posts: 9,929 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  Dream_Inn said:

  Really it was just Handy missing his boat!
  

  LoL!!

  2008 330EC

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• Handymans342 Member Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  Hahaha not

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• PickleRick Member Posts: 4,385 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• rasbury Member Posts: 8,983 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  some of really have way to much spare time on our hands don't we?

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• PickleRick Member Posts: 4,385 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  Just a few quickies 
  
  Did you hear about the guy who lost the entire left side of his body? Don’t worry, he's all right
  
  You can tell an ant's gender by placing it in water. If it sinks it's a girl ant. If it floats it's boyant
  
  Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  
  I have a few jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  
  Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
  
  Lost my job at the bank. ON the very first day a woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
  

  Boat Name : 
  
  

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• Ian Member Posts: 3,064 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  We need a new thread called “Dad jokes” 

  Regards,

  Ian

  The Third “B”

  Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

  https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

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• GMSLITHO Member Posts: 1,619 ✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  
  Lost my job at the bank. ON the very first day a woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.

  
  

  That’s great 

  
  

  
  

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• RiverRat232 Member Posts: 596 ✭✭✭

  March 2020 edited March 2020

  A man walks into a bar and notices the bartender has a 1 foot tall man playing a tiny piano on the bar. "Where did you get that?" the man asks. "There's a genie in the back room granting wishes" the bartender replies. A few minutes later, the man comes back covered in feathers. "That genie is deaf. I asked for a million bucks and I got a million ducks!" the man says. The bartender replies " I know. How do you think I got a 12 inch pianist"

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• dalek Member Posts: 260 ✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• dalek Member Posts: 260 ✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• LaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 8,074 mod

  March 2020

  
  

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• Ian Member Posts: 3,064 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  CEO says to another “any compliance issues with the no handshaking rule?”
  ”Not since we ran out of toilet paper..”

  Regards,

  Ian

  The Third “B”

  Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

  https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

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• dalek Member Posts: 260 ✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

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• randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

  Boat Name : 
  
  

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• Willhound Member Posts: 4,242 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  randy56 said:

  
  

  Oh man. My Grandfather who was very adaptable, and thrifty, actually used to do this. He had it figured that it was lower cost because it did a "better job" And therefore used less....

  "Knot Quite Shore" - 2000 FV270 (Sold)
  2018 Cherokee 39RL Land Yacht (Sorry...)

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• aero3113 Member Posts: 9,929 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  All US Citizens are Entitled to $700 USD per week to stay at home to avoid the spread of COVID-19 novel Coronavirus, starting from March 16, 2020. The Government grant pay is accessible to all no matter employment status. Read full article here on how to claim:

  
  

  https://external-preview.redd.it/vxPXEGgL4v8mCGw06IFGsmJNtqWQg-z60xQQ79dHKPY.jpg?auto=webp&s=db7685262e9b352a4888e547f52a244e2ea2cb9f ...

  2008 330EC

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• aero3113 Member Posts: 9,929 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020 edited March 2020

  I was going to post it on the “Virus” thread but felt it was better here, LoL!

  2008 330EC

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• LaRea Member, Moderator Posts: 8,074 mod

  March 2020

  Well dammit, that link actually was funny.  And harmless.  

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• randy56 Member Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

  Boat Name : 
  
  

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• Handymans342 Member Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  Good one

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• Ian Member Posts: 3,064 ✭✭✭✭✭

  March 2020

  
  

  Regards,

  Ian

  The Third “B”

  Ravena Coeymans Yacht Club

  https://www.rcyachtclub.com/

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